(Re) Finding My Strength

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4 hours of broken sleep.  A few days shy of 4 months postpartum.  Tired, anxious, weak and….yeah…tired.  This morning I resisted the urge to crawl back into bed after dropping the twins off at school and directed my car to CrossFit.  I lifted some heavy (for me) shit and finished off an exhausting workout by pulling a tire (yeah, it was the smallest one) 50 yards 3 times.

I’ve been back at CrossFit for 3 weeks now.  I’m eating clean too.  Everything different this time around.  I’m not telling social media every time I survive a day of Whole30 or deadlift –  I don’t have the energy for it.  Instead, I’m just showing up and doing it.

I show up and hang out with other amazingly strong women who I can talk to about breastfeeding, husbands, burpees, baby sleep and power cleans.  These women remembered me even after I took a year hiatus.  It feels like I never left them.  These women cheer me on as I struggle to pull and push weights that they can lift with one finger, and try to convince me that I’ll be as strong as them some day.

This is where I will become strong again – strong like I was before I got pregnant.  I know my body is capable of anything I demand of it.

This is my happy place.

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