4 hours of broken sleep. A few days shy of 4 months postpartum. Tired, anxious, weak and….yeah…tired. This morning I resisted the urge to crawl back into bed after dropping the twins off at school and directed my car to CrossFit. I lifted some heavy (for me) shit and finished off an exhausting workout by pulling a tire (yeah, it was the smallest one) 50 yards 3 times.
I’ve been back at CrossFit for 3 weeks now. I’m eating clean too. Everything different this time around. I’m not telling social media every time I survive a day of Whole30 or deadlift – I don’t have the energy for it. Instead, I’m just showing up and doing it.
I show up and hang out with other amazingly strong women who I can talk to about breastfeeding, husbands, burpees, baby sleep and power cleans. These women remembered me even after I took a year hiatus. It feels like I never left them. These women cheer me on as I struggle to pull and push weights that they can lift with one finger, and try to convince me that I’ll be as strong as them some day.
This is where I will become strong again – strong like I was before I got pregnant. I know my body is capable of anything I demand of it.
This is my happy place.