It’s the middle of the afternoon and I’m laying on the couch watching Bachelor in Paradise.  I have literally NOTHING that I have to do.  Sure, there are a ton of things that I could be doing, but the bare minimums (clean dishes, clean clothes, dinner possible) are taken care of.  Meanwhile….my husband is slaving away reading films that will save people’s lives.  This feels unfair.

However, at 7:00 pm when the baby will need to be nursed before his bedtime and the twins will be biting each other and intentionally peeing outside of the potty, I will look down at my husband sitting calmly down in front of his computer and think to myself – THIS IS SO UNFAIR!

SAHMing has been a series of highs and lows for me.  When it’s good, its really good.  I’m not just talking about those magic motherhood moments, where A tells me she loves me or I see D master a new skill or my long naps with Little A.  No – I’m talking about those times that I get to relax, take time for myself, go to the gym at 9:30 and put my kids in gym daycare.  Those times make me look back at the stressful days at the office and say “OH YEAH, I made it”

But balanced against those time are the crazy insane nap times, the food on the floor, the puke on my LuLaRoe leggings and the general sense that I just can’t escape.  Those times that I want to participate in group events and I feel like I can’t.  The days I feel like I’m drowning.

I know I do less during nap time than my friends.  I know there are women who wait for 1:30 to clean their floors, do their crafts or plan parties.  If I did that I’d die.  In order for me to survive the SAHM life I need to be as LAZY as possible during nap time.  It’s my only time to myself as I have to go to bed as soon as the twins do to get up with Little A twice a night.  It has taken almost a year for me to come to terms with my guilt about this, but I really encourage any woman who is struggling to just sit the F down and leave the extra crap behind.

Relax and enjoy 3:30 because we all know how bad 7:30 is going to feel.